Almost a year ago, my good friend Jeff moved down to New Orleans. It was a real smart move on his part, he had lived in Western New York (or Syracuse) his whole life, and he has the talent and drive to make it anywhere; I thought it would be great for him to get some new experiences and just live somewhere different for awhile. As is the phenomenon of Buffalo, I've found that if you've grown up in the WNY area, and you don't go somewhere else for college (I'm talking 3+ hour drive away, so not necessarily terribly far), you usually don't ever get out. Buffalo isn't a bad town, but I think everyone who has grown up there needs to live somewhere else for awhile. If, for nothing else, to get away from the snow.

::side note: I love snow, I am not bashing snow here::

Anyway, so Jeff and his lovely girlfriend are living in New Orleans now. And I want to go visit him. Luckily, so does another friend of ours, Joey. Joey has recently picked up running as a hobby and is actually running a half marathon this weekend. I'm so proud of him. He asked me for running advice when he first started out.

The past couple of times I've actually had a vacation, I've only been able to justify the trip with a marathon. I don't take vacations ever, and I almost feel guilty if I take the time off of work and I go somewhere and I don't race. Sounds crazy, but that's how I roll. And I haven't trained for a marathon in over a year, and I actually miss it. I miss getting up early on a saturday morning to hash out 12 or 16 miles.

New Orleans' marathon is Feburary 28th. I figured that would be a perfect time to take a vacation, see Jeff, and run a marathon with Joey. It's like killing 3 birds with one stone. That gives me about 6 months to train for the marathon(or half marathon if I want to be realistic-but who wants that?). This would be a big thing for me, since I've never run a marathon with a friend before. I've had friends meet me out on the course and run a bit with me, or just give me a bottle of water, but never the whole way through.

Hell, as long as we're not being realistic, why don't I shoot to qualify for Boston?

Why not indeed.

My sister gave me a book, The Temperament God Gave You, and although I never, ever read, I decided to give it a try. This isn't a post about Spirituality, or even about reading, it's about understanding my own temperament.

The book lays out 4 specific temperaments, traits that you're born with that determine the type of person you are. Not exactly personality traits, but an explanation of what makes you tick. Wikipedia does a mediocre job of explaining the temperaments, but it's better than nothing if you have no clue what I'm talking about. I'd suggest reading the book. It's not all about Christianity and Spirituality either.

It was pretty fun to read about the different temperaments and figuring out which one I was. One stood out plain as day: I am Phlegmatic. Basically, that means I'm a calm, laid back person who appreciates harmony and peace. And not the hippie-like 'Why can't we all just get along?' crap. Really, I'm a peacemaker. I always have been since I was a little kid. I can empathize with others and I'm very loyal, but I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm usually pretty quiet and passive. However, I also have a tendency to be downright lazy, I shrink away from conflict and I can be very resistant to change, especially if it forces me to change a schedule that I've meticulously set up for myself.

I also tend to gravitate to doing what other people want to do and not realize that I might not be doing what I want to do, because I want to make other people happy and that's what makes me happy. Does that make sense? It made sense to me. In all of my past relationships, I've picked up tons of hobbies that I did because my boyfriend wanted to do it with me. Most things I enjoyed well enough, but when the relationship ended, so did that activity. My main reminder of this is the samurai sword I have hidden away in my closet.

One thing really struck me about the characteristics of a Phlegmatic. They are difficult to motivate and have a tendency to be lazy (in a physical sense). Also, they need a lot of positive encouragement (more so than other temperaments), and tend to withdraw when nagged, criticized, or sometimes, even when challenged.

Instantly, I thought about running. I have always had difficulty getting out there and running, motivating myself, and I always wondered why this was so difficult for me to do if I really enjoyed doing it? Also, no one 'got' me into running. It's one of the only things that I chose to do on my own, without any prodding from anyone. It's something I've held onto for a long time because I realized the importance of that. However, should something I enjoy be a constant challenge for me? And I'm not talking about challenges like completing a 50 miler, or running a 6 minute mile. I'm talking about waking up every morning and going out there and just doing it. After reading and understanding a little more about my temperament, I think I'm starting to understand that yes, running will always be a challenge. It will always be tough for me to go against my natural tendencies and preferences and get out there and be active, to constantly push myself even though I don't like being pushed-it tends to make me regress into a passive state. Perhaps, after knowing that I'm motivated by what other people want to do and in my need to make other people happy, I should join a running club, or do a relay marathon, something where I know people are counting on me to run and to keep up my part.

However, I do like how I've made running such an individual activity. I am a very independent person and especially with my insane schedule, I need as much free time as I can get. I need time away from other people and even away from my dog so I don't gravitate to my natural state of attaining order and making everyone happy. I know I need time to listen to myself and just do what I want to do. Unfortunately, motivating myself is much more than 'Just do it!'

I guess I haven't really figured out anything, maybe when I'm working less and have more free time I'll join a running club, since I think that will really encourage me to run since I'll be around other people who enjoy the same activity. But right now, I'll keep running personal. It's holding my nose above water and encouraging me to keep treading water until I can get enough strength to pull myself out of this situation.